My sources (I’ve always wanted to say that; it’s the Wall Street Journal) tell me Boomers are the fastest growing user segment on Facebook.

Really?

The generation who grew up on books and no technology? The generation whose faces are  …  sure, I know we’re supposed to embrace our maturity but … now?? … we’re gonna show our faces … now?

Note her nose/lip rings and spiky choker!

Another Boomer craze sweeping the country is PickleBall. Yup, if you’ve never heard of PickleBall, then I’m your source!! Outdoor courts are proliferating in Florida and Arizona (thanks, reliable sources – Mimi & Coco). Rec centers here in Denver are adding outdoor courts to ease the demand on existing indoor courts which have been in constant use this winter.

Pickleball is a loose meld of tennis, ping pong, squash and racquetball, played as a singles or doubles game. The court is the size of a badminton court; the net is lower than a tennis net; and the ball resembles a wiffle ball . The paddle? That’s harder to describe – it most resembles a ping pong paddle, but is larger and made of a composite material without the rubber-coated surface.

My husband and I have played a few times, mostly trying to get used to the paddle swing and ball trajectory. We haven’t yet learned the strategy or the rules. Except we know the #1 rule:

STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN !!!!

There is an area spanning approximately 4 feet from the net into each side of the court, known as “the kitchen.” A player cannot go into the kitchen to volley … ever. She may go into the kitchen to hit a ball that has bounced in the kitchen, but must back out of the kitchen before the next ball comes across the net.

So far, our play goes like this:

Hub: Serves

Me: Don’t see ball coming over the net through my progressive lens. The ball sails past me.  “Shoot”

Hub: Serves

Me: See ball coming; misjudge distance to ball; whiff.  “Rats”

Hub: Serves

Me: See ball; correctly judge distance; misjudge how high ball will bounce (it doesn’t!); whiff.  “Damn”

Hub: Serves

Me: See ball; get to it; hit it; ball goes into the net. “Shit”

Hub: Serves

Me: See ball; get to it; hit it over the net; hubby returns it. Meanwhile I race to the net and volley a winner. Fist pump. “Yes-s-s-s”

Hubby yells: “No good! My point! You volley’d in the kitchen! YOU GOTTA STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!

 “F*#k-fffttt”

Pickleball is a lot of fun. You get so much exercise retrieving all those balls from the corners of the court.

Try it. You’ll like it.

But no matter what:

STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN !!!!