May 14, 2014 will be my 25th wedding anniversary. No one is prouder than I am to own that milestone.
Soon after we met, Hub began talking about marriage, certain very quickly that we were the real deal. While I fell in love with him within months of meeting, I was content to live together; to share our lives without taking that formal step called marriage.
It was so perfect already, why not enjoy that stage indefinitely? Why mess with perfection?
As two years went by, I continued to resist his requests to marry, assuring him I’d marry him someday, just not now. Eventually we reached an impasse. He needed my commitment of marriage, and I couldn’t give that to him.
My hidden truth was I didn’t trust that I could follow through with the “forever, till death do us part” promise. My first marriage lasted only seven years. It took me another six long years to recover from that sadness. No matter how much I loved my new partner, I couldn’t vow “forever” when I had already failed to keep that commitment.
One day, both of us in tears about our impasse, I admitted my fear about not being able to actually follow through on “forever”.
“If you can’t promise forever, how about 39 years plus options?”
Now THAT sounded like a commitment I could make. AND fulfill. Reasonable, measurable and renewable if I succeeded with the initial term. I eagerly and wholeheartedly said, “YES!”
And that’s what we vowed at our wedding: to marry for 39 years plus options.
If you asked me today, 25 years later, if I could make a “forever” commitment to Hub, I’m happy to say I could; I would. But it took his love, patience, understanding and creativity to get me here.