Beware Death by Diet !
Recently I received an email from my brother declaring himself the Baron of the Black Eye.
His photo looked like a midnight mug shot after a brutal bar brawl. Both his eyes were enveloped by angry purplish rings and noticeably swollen skin. His sheepish grimace (one could hardly call it a grin) told me there was a post-worthy story waiting to be written.
“What the heck?!?” I hollered into the phone.
He explained he’d made himself lunch – basically salad in a pita pocket. Because he wanted to lose a few pounds, he nixed adding dressing to his salad. After taking a bite and swallowing, somehow a piece of lettuce caught in his throat and stuck, lying flat and effectively sealing his wind pipe. He tried coughing to no avail. The lettuce wouldn’t budge, and he could not call out for help or breathe. In a slight panic, he headed towards the sink (for what reason remains unclear).
A short time later he awoke on the floor – head cut; eyes bruised; and a cupboard door hanging askew from its broken hinge near the sink. We surmise when he passed out, his esophagus relaxed enough that (miraculously) the piece of lettuce moved off his wind pipe, and he began breathing again.
Moral of this diet story:
(cue Mary Poppins)
A spoonful of dressing helps the lettuce go down…
In the most life-saving way!