Hub and I sat down last night to help Sparks (5th grade) with his homework.
You know where I’m going with this, right?
Sparks gave us an hour lesson in New Math, during which my thinking cap was knocked so askew I had to lie down for an hour. In New Math, that adds up to 1½ hours of no one learning any New Math.
We recovered by having some pie.
Apparently 98% of our population in any given year doesn’t grasp how to add, subtract or multiply numbers by columns. Neither do we know how to divide numbers using this cool Boomer doodle pattern:
That’s the only reason I like long division – that rockin’ doodle pattern!
Don’t worry, there are doodle patterns in New Math; just not that obsolete Boomer pattern.
In New Math, the doodle pattern is 100% addition.
That’s right. Subtraction, multiplication and division are each distilled down to addition. Specifically addition of tens. See how this problem starts out as subtraction but quickly morphs into addition?
In addition, Plus Also, horizontal processing has replaced vertical calculations.
For instance this kind of problem:
Now looks like …
The gist is 72 and 39 are broken down into tens and reconfigured into completely new numbers spread out across that doodle-y horizontal line. The new numbers are then … … ok, I have no idea how to proceed, but I’m 97% certain there’s a subsequent calculation requiring an additional doodle.
Is anyone seeing a pattern here?
Call me doodle-brained, but New Math looks like it’s taking us down a slippery slope to a nation of … well … doodlers, not mathematicians!
Nevertheless, I’m encouraging Sparks to stick with New Math. I’m counting on him to calculate answers to some mathematical problems that have long plagued my musing mind:
- How is it that my nieces and nephews are approaching age 40 when I’m barely one face-wrinkle past 39 myself?
- How is it that my youngest brother, who I invariably describe as age 22, is actually – when I doodle it out – 57?
- Why can audiologists fine tune Hub’s hearing aids with eight different programs so he can HEAR, but not a single calibration will entice him to LISTEN?
- How can we successfully land a space explorer on a comet after traveling a cumulative four billion miles, but my cable provider cannot accurately sync my ‘automatic recording option’ with the actual start time of my shows?
- How can we bask in 70 degree sunshine at 10am; shiver in 29 degree snow flurries at 10:30am; and shovel two feet of snow in single digit temperatures 24 hours later? What is a Polar Vortex anyway? It sounds like something out of the Hunger Games (which I pray is not New World repercussions from the New
When I was an auditor, I had a client who developed his own catch-all math response to my intrusive audit inquisition – probing for the truth about sales, inventory, expenses and profit.
Me: “Hey Sam, I’m looking at your inventory records stating the number of new and used cars you have on the lot, but my actual count is … well, it’s just not adding up.”
Sam (grabbing inventory sheet and his eraser): “What number would you like it to be?”
Sam didn’t need New Math OR a doodle to calculate that!
Source of graphics and photos: Google Images